I have about three minutes before I have to leave for work.

Today was a wonderful lazy day.

I was on the phone last night with TallCuteSlowTalker until 130 or so, and then we were up texting until two. He's so sweet and nice. He's genuinely a good guy.

I then talked to Megs for a little while, and decided to say fuck everything and just go shopping. I bought myself a Christmas gift. No more self purchases again. :) I got an iPod docking station.

I also finished Tommy and Kevin. I have to pick up something else for Missy and possibly something small for Mom. I have to start planning for Dad, and then buy for a couple more people from school. I want to pick up something for Liz to go inside the makeup bag. She's such a sweetheart. And etc.

I'll figure it out. TCST has taken to calling me Lady Britania. I think its cute. He's so wonderful. Why does he like me again?

*sigh* Off to work now. Yay.

So, I know it shouldn't bother me, but my dad went to the senior tea with MySister. Both of my parents did. He wouldn't take off work to come when I was a senior. End of story.

1. 
   Scorpio (10/23-11/21)

   If there's any way at all for you to pull a disappearing act, this would be a fine time to do it -- especially if you have a partner in crime to hibernate with, which you most certainly do. You don't have to advertise it either. You know exactly who to call. You're in the mood for secrets, mysteries and the kind of people who are as tough to crack as a safe without a combination.

I absolutely love how my horoscope is always so accurate.  I do get to disappear tonight with the family, sister, and JLo!

Thank you my.yahoo.

I really should get moving.  Work soon and all.

We leave tonight for Kentucky.  I have not packed yet. 

I met F for coffee on Tuesday night when I got out of class.   I probably shouldn't have.  I was making some good progress.  Now I feel like I need him again or like he needs me again and I miss him again.

Maybe this is why I'm pushing the flirting a little too hard with K and HistoryBoy.  I don't even really know if I like HistoryBoy.  And well, I know how I feel about K most of the time.  He's one of my best friends though and things get really complicated when we acknowledge any type of feeling for each other.

I was on the phone with K last night. Then HistoryBoy called and I should have just hit ignore and talked to K, but I hadn't heard from HB in so long, and it was really late so I figured why not flash over quickly?  Anyway, not the best idea.  HB was in hardcore flirt mode and I just figured, why not just play along at this point?  Problem arises when I told K I'd be right back and then I talked to HB for almost 25 minutes.  I tried to call K back but he didn't answer, so I texted him and again no answer.  Maybe he was driving?  I'll have to throw out a text later and see if he bites.  I hate it when he's mad at me.

I have to leave for work in an hour.  We're having a sidewalk sale and its raining outside.  This should be really fun.

On the brightside, JLo is coming to KY with us!  Yay!  I'll at least have that to look forward to, I really miss her.  I need to pack.

When I get home from KY, I have to finish "operation go through everything" and make my room inhabitable.  And I want to start compiling things that I need for school in the fall.  A place to put new things, more or less, like the socks I bought.  And to take inventory of what I need.  I promised myself not to buy anything for the month of July.  Hopefully I'll stick to that.  In August then I'll have a lot of money to spend on books for school, new clothes and other things that I may need for back to school. (most espeically a new tall drawer bin because I really need to have an organized storage system.

I have my textbook for theology next semester and I am really looking forward to the class.  I think that Dr. T will be great and this is mostly a course about Women of faith!  I'm really psyched.

I got a 10 out of 10 on my philosophy paper and I started researching the one that is due next week.  I met a woman in my math class who is also taking philosophy online with the same guy and she's really struggling.  I agreed to help her bounce ideas and get caught up with the paper writing.  Ugh.  I really am not a fan of philosophy, but this stuff is really interesting for the next paper.  Its about ethics and political and social philosophy.  I'm especially excited because we're getting into some feminist philosophy and although I am not a true feminist, I still find it all very interesting!

I think I may enter one of the LDWS contests around here for Harry Potter some time soon.  It would be nice to work on my creative abilities.  I just need to find the right ship to write. :)

My knee hurts, I'm not entirely sure what I did to it, but is just hurts a little bit.

Also, I really have to study this weekend.  I have a biology test on Tuesday, and I anticipate it being very difficult.  I also have a math test, but that one is not worrying me too much.  It's logic for my dummy math class so its really not a big deal at all.
 

Haven't heard from F in almost three days.  I'm really pumped about this.

Went to the doctor's today to meet the woman who will hopefully be my new physician.  I don't know how I feel about her, she seems nice enough but I generally don't trust doctors much these days.  

I made Blondie brownies today.  I was really excited, they came out great and they taste sooo good its not even funny.  I have to make them again, they were in my pink Better Homes Cookbook.  I also squeezed my own orange juice.  Its really good too.

Tomorrow I think sister and I are going strawberry picking.  I'm really excited to go.  I have always wanted to but have never had the time or means of going.  

I'm almost finished with Tuesday's (this past Tuesday's) philosophy assignment.  I want to finish it soon, but I have two more paragraphs or so to write, then I have to write another paper for next Tuesday.

HistoryBoy called me last night.  It was a nice conversation.  He's really flirty though, sometimes a little over the top and it makes me a little uncomfortable.  I'm still getting used to the idea of being worthwhile, so I don't really think he's serious when he's flirting with me.  And when he gets really horny and makes sex comments that creep me out, I'm trying to learn to speak up about it and not just take it.  One bad guy after another has really screwed me in the self confidence area. 

I'm getting really bored with this paper.

I talked to K a little bit last night too.  He really seemed decent.  Talking to him makes me feel weird sometimes, like I shouldn't be.  I fell asleep last night thinking about cuddling with him.  I thought I should try to cleanse my thoughts of F, and that thinking of being held and comforted (in a completely platonic way) was safe.  I slept okay, too which is nice.

The BKDinosaur called me too.  He was a little off.  He wanted to hang out today too, but I"m not up to seeing anyone anymore.  Hopefully I'll get out of this house soon, but I'm just not ready yet.  

HistoryBoy isn't pushing to physically hang out yet, which is good.  I'm not ready yet.  I want to stay here for as long as possible.  He called me again today just to chat for a few minutes and said he was going to call me tonight too...I don't know why he's calling, I don't have much to say and he doesn't usually talk much, just makes flirty and perverted comments and then asks me to send him a picture.  He knows what I look like already, I don't get why he needs a picture.  BKDinosaur is jealous, and says that he wants it for perverted reasons, he's proabably right...are all men like that?  Does anyone actually want to talk to a woman for a reason that doesn't have anything to do with getting laid?

I'm really frustrated.  I may seriously never leave my house again.  I'm safe here.  Well, aside from work and class of course.  I'm safer here.  I like being safe.  With my family nothing can get me and no one can hurt me, just as long as I stay here.

I'm glad I have this journal...it helps me to hide and I like hiding.  It feels so safe.  As long as I don't think about things or about leaving and going out there again, I don't feel so bad.  Its almost like I can handle it.